It's thicker. It's richer. It's been made the same way since the 1940s. But what actually makes an Awful Awful different from every other milkshake out there?
It's Not Just a Milkshake
If you've ever ordered an Awful Awful and thought "this is different," you're right. It is different. Fundamentally, structurally, philosophically different from what you get at every other restaurant, diner, and drive-through in America. And the differences start before the blender even turns on.
House-Made Ice Cream
This is the big one. Most restaurants — even good ones — use commercially produced ice cream for their milkshakes. There's nothing wrong with that. But Newport Creamery has been making its own ice cream since 1928. Our ice cream base is richer, denser, and has a higher butterfat content than what you'll find in commercial products.
That matters. Butterfat is what gives ice cream its creamy texture and rich mouthfeel. When you start with a superior base, everything built on top of it is better. It's the foundation of why an Awful Awful tastes like an Awful Awful.
The Ratio
A typical milkshake is mostly milk with some ice cream blended in. An Awful Awful flips that ratio. It's predominantly ice cream, with just enough milk to make it drinkable. That's why it's thicker. That's why it's more substantial. That's why you sometimes need to eat it with a spoon for the first few minutes before the straw becomes viable.
This isn't a drink that accompanies your meal. This is a meal unto itself.
The Technique
We won't reveal everything — some things should stay in the kitchen. But the way an Awful Awful is blended matters. It's not thrown in a blender and whipped until smooth. There's a specific process that incorporates just the right amount of air to create the signature texture — thick enough to stand a straw in, smooth enough to drink through one.
The Tradition
Maybe the biggest difference isn't something you can taste. It's the weight of nearly a century behind every glass. The Awful Awful isn't a menu item that was focus-grouped or test-marketed. It evolved naturally over decades of Rhode Islanders telling us exactly what they wanted. It's been refined by time, not by committee.
When you drink an Awful Awful, you're drinking the same thing your parents drank. And their parents before them. That continuity isn't just sentimental — it's a quality guarantee. If the recipe were going to change, it would have changed by now. It hasn't because it doesn't need to.
Awful Big, Awful Good
At the end of the day, the name says it all. It's awful big. It's awful good. And there's nothing else quite like it.
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